October 4, 2007
The Miniature Pony Incident
Is it already October?! Wow! It seems more like "Rock-tober" with how well our Lady Panthers Cross Country team is doing! Keep up the good work girls! They ran all over the Lady Haybalers of Hazelton.
Crazy how fast the school year moves. It feels like just yesterday Steph and I were out shopping for our "back to school" essentials. Next thing you know we're going to be dustin' off the ol' turtlenecks and snowpants and gearin' up for another long, cold winter.
Okay, time to get serious. As much as it pains me to do so, it’s time for Vice Principal Woodcock to put on his disciplinarian pants. As many of you know by now, last Friday's "Back to School" Senior prank was several steps over the line. Here is the story covered by Senior reporters Jared Pearlman and Michael Hobert:
"At 8:13am, Eastern Standard Time, Freshman Ken Blankstein spotted what turned out to be the first of eleven miniature ponies released inside the school facilities. On paper, this prank seemed entertaining and well thought out, but let me assure you, there is nothing fun, or funny, about eleven undomesticated, loose ponies (that's like having three and a half real size ponies…think about it). Miniature ponies are known for their aggressive, erratic behavior in the face of stress, and unfortunately, that combination of aggression and stress led to three injuries, an extremely diminished sloppy joe supply in the cafeteria, and the destruction of Mr. Nash's science fair display.
While four of the ponies were captured by mid-morning, the seven others roamed free for the better part of the afternoon. Junior Charles Hornsby was cornered in the music room for three hours by two, of what he described as, "crazed, blood thirsty" ponies with only his cello to defend him. Hornsby went on to say, "The only thing I got out of this was learning that miniature ponies prefer string instruments to the stronger sounding brass instruments."
Thankfully for the students of Winston Churhill High, French Teacher, and Bronze Winning Olympic Equestrian Karl Hebert was able wrangle and subdue 30% of the ponies before Animal Control arrived at the scene. Hebert, no stranger to playing the hero, said, "The all black miniature pony gave me a run for my money, but I stayed focused, maintained eye contact, and ultimately won what turned out to be an incredible battle of wills." The whole situation was put to rest that evening when the ponies were returned to their rightful owners.
While I love pranks as much as the next guy, eleven miniature ponies equal one big, dangerous problem. I assure you that once found, those guilty will be punished. Just remember what I always say, "A prank that is safe and fun, is a prank that is well done!"
This miniature pony, while friendly and docile looking, as depicted in
Senior Jason Lansing’s picture above was the culprit of a late morning donkey kick that sent Sophomore Desiree Finigan to the emergency room.
And now for the Winston Churchill High Question of the Week. Please submit your response by posting a comment with your answer in the comments section:
If you're boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/or friend sings too loud at a social gathering you should:
A) Smile politely
B) Quietly back out of the room
C) Sing louder to make it seem normal (i.e. take the bullet for them)
D) Fake a heart attack
And here’s a little homework assignment:
Please email me your favorite school sports related moment (embarrassing, funny, I want them all). I’ll post some of my top picks in the blog next week! Write me at jeff@mywoodcock.com
Signing off,
Vice-Principal Woodcock
